… Life throws curve balls… And I wish I didn’t keep striking out… I dont know what I want anymore..

I can’t help but think we’d be a great match, But that relationship would never hatch. The way we talk, laugh, and connect, It’s almost like it’s perfect. The way you make me feel is incredible, And together we could make such a spectacle…

Too bad it will never happen.. It’s something I just imagine.

My new years resolution was to get get rid of the drama that surrounds me, its amazing how when I go out to the bar with friends I’m “supposed” to go sit with ‘friends’ that are there already. And maybe I’m not fond of someone, and such, I’m Sorry I’m going to say “no, I’m going to sit back here with my friends that I came out with because I’m not fond of and or don’t like someone you’re with”. Please DO NOT try to say Im being immature and not acting like an adult…last time I checked taking myself out of the equation, of not having to be 2 faced, makes me a better person. So fuck you!

Don’t want to be just another number,

now I’m just another chapter.

I read between the lines,

but had to walk away.

The talks we have,

are only memories caught in the past.

The times we share,

are now long gone.

I lay here with a wandering mind,

the time has gone away.

True sight is something I feel,

but not something I can see.

The rain can fall down,

trying to wash it all away,

but what I feel,

has turned into a never fading scar.

The sun shines,

but it doesn’t brighten my day,

it was always brighter,

when you were around.

S. Rae 1.31.2012

I don’t know how you did it, but you broke down the walls, and no sooner did they tumble, I built them up again.

I don’t wanna focus on the questions in my head, too many unanswered, always searching, always roaming…

I don’t know where to look for the truth in people, or where it all begins nor ends, one continuous circle of lies and deceit.

I don’t want to surround myself with negative energy, for fear of spiraling into a neverending hole.

And…

I don’t want to feel the way I do anymore.

-S. Rae 1.28.2012

The loneliness is only in my head,

for I know I’m never alone.

I may walk alone, on a deserted path,

but as soon as I enter the clearing,

everything is okay again.

I don’t focus on the lonely anymore,

the thoughts bring me to a place that I don’t need to be.

I’m learning that there is a happy place without someone,

and I’m finally learning that it’s okay.

Clear head, free mind,

smile in hand, positive vibes all around.

Thats when I know your influence is around,

even though you’re not here, my heart holds you close,

like my hands never could,

Everyday I get stronger,

facing the days with obstacles to knock down.

The whirlwind around me makes it difficult to breathe,

but I know to pause and take a breath, everything is calm.

It’s time to start living,

breaking through barriers,

knocking down walls,

and pushing past the bad things.

S. Rae 1/26/2012

Sometimes I can’t hide my feelings,

you’re always in my thoughts,

swirling around me like the autumn leaves,

and nothing I do erases the image of you.

You haunt my dreams,

and everyday reality..

My heart still beats at mere thoughts of us,

with a steady rhythm only for you.

There’s a yearning in my heart

when only you’re around,

and that’s also when it breaks.

S. Rae 1.25.2012